We can always be a little better each day.

JOY.
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She thinks age is relative. If she were to be perfectly honest, she'll tell you she actually thinks she's an old soul. Her energy, though, says otherwise. She's a double major in Politics and Psychology, but her biggest dream is to work for National Geographic.

She'll never admit it to anyone, but she's always wanted to be a princess, and no, not the Disney kind. She loves anything Arabic and Russian, and she likes chocolate more than she likes a lot of things, and there are a lot of things she likes. She likes cameras, the military, dogs, Lego, Batman, and Harry Potter.

On random days, she refers to herself in the third person, and people think it's weird. She doesn't care, though, a friend once told her that weird is good.

Her mind's essentially Hotel California.





Young. Christian. Happy.

She's a Youth For Christ.

That's not to say she's a holy person, or that she's a righteous one. All it actually means is that she believes in living her life for something far greater than who she is. People sometimes look at her with scorn, especially since she lives in a world where no one wants to get associated with religion, but she doesn't mind.

Because everyday she's becoming a better version of herself.




Some days I believe we can rule the world.

She can't be angry. She tries, but she just can't. The simplest, shallowest things make her laugh. Mess with her friends, though, and she'll rush to you and make you remember why that wasn't such a good idea.

She's boyish, which can be because she has a lot of guy friends more than she has girls, but the ones here below, she's been friends with them since forever.

And she's planning to keep it that way.

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“Oh! The places you can go!”

The thoughts of 15 year old me
Thursday, June 21, 2012 || 9:18 AM


Sometimes, when I have nothing to do and when all I'm waiting for is drowsiness to consume me.. I gape at the thought of how I merely am a speck of dust in the vastness of the universe.

And this time, at this exact moment, I feel that sometime.

I'm not outstanding, brilliant, perfect.. and that makes me feel like an ant standing next to a blue whale. With all the amazing people around me, I can not compare myself to them, their hugeness next to my nothingness.. their glory next to my flickering - almost fading light.

I don't do things that amaze people. I don't enter a room with people looking at me twice.. I don't even think they notice me entering. I don't have that special ability to make a person laugh because I said something funny. I can't sing, nor can I entertain someone especially when they're down.

But I try.

Everyday I wake up and I say to myself that I will. And everynight I go to bed hoping that atleast a fragment of that day, I made atleast one person feel special.

Sometimes, I feel inadequate, inferior, unworthy.

And sometimes, sometimes become often.

But then I realize, who am I trying to kid? Why must I pretend to be someone I'm not?

At a particular session one day, I found out that I'm only fooling myself to be trying - vainly - to be someone better, someone not me.

You know why?

Because at the end of the day, we don't have to please anyone. Just one. Just God. We don't have to please our peers for them to accept us, we don't have to succumb to whatever pressure they put us into.. we don't have to change ourselves harshly to fit the stereotype our parents set us, we don't have to put people down to achieve what we want..

We just have to be ourselves.


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